Eo 157: Reflecting on 2024 and Leveling Up for 2025 with Rena Gower and Dara Godfrey
Fertility Forward Episode 157:
As the year comes to an end, we’re reminded of the value of reflecting on the past, looking ahead, and setting meaningful goals. In this episode of the Fertility Forward podcast, join Rena and Dara as they take a moment to ground themselves and reflect on all that 2024 brought. They share their thoughts on words that have taken on new meaning, the transformative power of journaling, and the concept of life as a balance beam. They also discuss books they’ve read, those still on their to-read list, and the trends they’ve observed among patients and in their work over the past year. Tune in to hear all this and much more! Thanks for listening.
Rena: Hi everyone. We are Rena and Dara, and welcome to Fertility Forward. We are part of the wellness team at RMA of New York, a fertility clinic affiliated with Mount Sinai Hospital in New York City. Our Fertility Forward podcast brings together advice from medical professionals, mental health specialists, wellness experts, and patients because knowledge is power and you are your own best advocate.
Dara: Hi everyone! Rena, I, I'm so happy to see you. I feel like it's been way too long.
Rena: I know. I always love seeing you, too, likewise.
Dara: And this is my favorite, I mean, I love meeting with other people and other guests, but I really love having, you know, a cap of how the year went. To hear how you've been and to share with our listeners kind of our own reflection of the year.
Rena: I love these episodes. I love to hear what you've been up to. We can sort of do what we talk about, kind of take a beat to really kind of ground and reflect. And I know neither of us like New Year's resolutions. We like New Year's goals.
Dara: Yes, exactly. Or just things to keep in mind. I think, yeah, maybe I'm, I'm a little more open this year to it. Maybe the term can be a little bit triggering, but reflections. It's great to reflect and it's great to have something to strive for.
Rena: Striveis my absolute favorite word. How did you know that I've picked that word up this year? That would be, for 2024 Strive is definitely it because I love Strive because it's goal setting, but it sets you up where if you don't accomplish it, that's okay. Like I tried. But sometimes just trying is okay. It doesn't mean we always have to get our goals right. Sometimes we, or we have to mindset shift or whatever, but strive, I'm gonna strive to do this. All I can do is my best. All I can do is try.
Dara: I think I'm gonna use that more. It's interesting, the word that I have been appreciating more, and I've kind of seen it in a different light, is the word desire. It's been coming up a lot for me in my own practice and in my readings and in my teachings. I often like looked at the term desire as something that you want, that you, you have to have. And I actually often associate with something negative, like something naughty in a way. Like, oh, I desire that cookie. Or you know, that handbag or something of material. But it's interesting, I've been seeing more the term desire being shown in a different way. It's kind of, I guess another way of like, achievement or working towards something. I think it is great to have that, again, it's not, maybe not goal, but something that you really are looking to achieve. Maybe it's not really achievement, but it's, again, I always thought it was something bad and it's this year I'm gonna look at desire as something more positive as opposed to something more negative. It's good to have things that you seek to work on.
Rena: Of course, and I talk about that with patients a lot, right? As humans, we always wanna be striving, we always wanna be desiring something because we need to have goals, we need to have things to work on. But the trick is, right, if those things take us out of the present, they take us out of recognizing what we do have and we can only focus on what we don't, then it's time to take a step back, right? And reset your mind. But of course we should always have goals, you know, and, and things that we wanna do. I think, you know, again, if it takes you out of your present and then you're unable to enjoy what you have and that mentality of, oh, well when I get this, I'll be happy, when I get that, well then you'll never be happy because you'll just be in that mindset.
Dara: I also think desires can be great, but not necessarily attaching to the outcome. So putting in your effort and really trying to manifest and work towards that goal. But once you've really tried to put in that effort, also stepping away and realizing, hopefully having trust in the universe that it'll all unfold in the way it's meant to unfold without the attachment to the desired outcome.
Rena: Yes, I love that. And of course I apply everything to running right, because that's my love of my life. But you know, with running times and, and racing, you know, it's not necessarily about, okay, did I crush the time I want? But can I look back and say, I did my best in that training cycle. You know, I accomplish things in that cycle. It's so much more than about the time of the race. That's one day and time, that's one figment of time of what's months of work. And so being able to look at things through that lens,
Dara: I think that's beautiful. I think also it's again, great to goal set. It's great to have things in mind to strive for, but I, I also think that yes, when we have these expectations of how it needs to be, that's often. And also when I think the comparison part must be tough too. Like I'm sure you wanna strive to beat your time before or to beat the person you know next to you. But when I heard you speaking, it made me think of like a part of it also is the process. And that's the fun in it. Not just the result at the end of the right on the other side.
Rena: It's the journey, not the destination. And I think, you know, to tie that into fertility in our patients, right. You know, that's, I think what I work a lot with people on, you know, fertility treatment unfortunately can take quite a lot of time. And it's like, okay, do you wanna spend the next few months being miserable and wanting to fast forward this time or can we make this a piece of your life and find things that you enjoy? Because you're here, and I know you and I both love Gedale.
Dara: Shout out to Gedale if he'll ever listen to this. Who knows?!
Rena: He's a very wise man. Anyone can find his podcast on Spotify. Just Gedale Fester. G-E-D-A-L-E. But I was listening to one of his episodes the other day and he was talking about the idea of time and when we get so caught up in time, how long is this gonna take? When is this gonna happen? You know? Which I know our patients go through a lot. That's when we lose ourselves and that's when we become so unhappy. And so to stop questioning and looking at time instead of just being,
Dara: Yeah, I, I think a lot of wise teachers speak upon this, maybe in different wording, but the notion of worrying about the future of the what ifs of the future, being fearful based on things in the past, and then we're losing the other things around us in that moment. Like the simple pleasure which can often get lost. And I think, I mean it's great. I'm sure you work with your patients in that way too. And I know to look at what are the things that are going right at this moment. What are the things that do bring you joy that you're experiencing right now?
Rena: Yes. I did an exercise last night. You would like this. So, and bear with me listeners, it's gonna sound a little hippie dippy, but I like hippie dippy things and I'm a big believer in higher power and universe and have a, a spiritual practice. And I was doing an exercise yesterday where you I was with a group of women and you write down a question for your higher power, whatever that means to you. And then you said a timer and you kind of all go off and you just put pen to paper. And I've done this multiple times before and sometimes I'm like, no, I didn't really get anything and my higher power wasn't really a part of this. I didn't have any breakthroughs. And sometimes I've done it like last night where you go back and you read and you're like, wow, that was definitely my higher power coming through my pen because I don't even remember writing this. And I never had that mindset before. So my question yesterday sort of involved stressors that I have and and how to deal with them. And through the exercise, my higher power kind of came through and showed me to view them that they're not stressors, they're blessings. And it was just such a beautiful breakthrough and reminder to and it sounded so when I read it, I was like, that's so simple. But it wasn't for me. I was very stuck. I was very stuck and very stressed and doing the exercise, it helped me say, wait a second. Yeah, these are blessings. These are not stressors, these are blessings. Let me view these differently. And I know that's sort of what we do a lot with our patients too, right? They're so stressed and is it fertility treatment is so difficult and how can we help them view it from a different lens?
Dara: I think it's great the notion of journaling and then kind of taking a step back so you can kind of see it more as a witness as opposed to sometimes when we say it in our mind it's one thing, but putting it on paper and you kind of have more space between that and you can perhaps view it with less judgment and more as that witness. But it's interesting, you reframed it. You totally reframed something that perhaps you originally saw as not great. You were able to see it as something positive.
Rena: Well, it was my higher power helping me. I mean, 'cause I really couldn't, I was very stuck and I love journaling. I know you do too. And I think there's so many ways to do it. This exercise in particular, I really love sometimes more than others. Yesterday it was a breakthrough and I've had, I've done it before where kind of nothing happened. There's also that beautiful practice, I'm sure you know, called the morning papers that I believe Julia can,
Dara: No, I don't know this.
Rena: Oh really? Okay.
Dara: Fill me in
Rena: Someone fact check me, but I think her name is Julia Cameron. It's called the morning papers. And this has been around years and years and it's the idea, the first thing that you do when you wake up in the morning is you write for 30 minutes. You don't like, do not press go, do not collect $200. Write. And you don't think, you write. It's the same idea, pen to paper, free flow. And people swear by this practice. I know people that have been doing it for years. And the same as I get up every morning, I go for a run that's my morning papers. But people, it's that practice because there are no constraints. And so it's like getting everything out. Like what a beautiful cleansing practice in the morning of just sort of getting everything out. Pen to paper. It's almost like cleansing your soul, right? Then you start the day fresh. So that's a practice that I know people really swear by and is supposed to be really cleansing and very, very good for mind.
Dara: Does that mean in terms of no matter what you have on your mind, you put to paper whether it's, of course I always think about like, do we end with something positive or is it kind of just like,
Rena: You don't think No, no, no, you don't think you just write. It's the same idea as sort of the exercise I did yesterday, which is called two-way prayer. But you just write, so you don't think, and I think so many people, they often get stuck. I know I feel this sometimes too, like, oh I should journal, but then I overthink it. What should I write about? I do this and that feels overwhelming so I don't do anything at all. Then all these feelings build up. So it's really, you don't think it's just, you sit there and it's like your pen has a mind of its own.
Dara: I love that. I think that's nice because you know, I've often, in my practice, you know, I've been suggested to certain things. I'm grateful for certain prompts or certain things to fill in the blank. But then sometimes you can get stuck. Granted, many times with gratitude, I can really, when I'm not forced, but when I make that conscious effort of like every day choose six to seven things that I'm grateful for, it actually makes me think outside of the box of, okay, going past the basics of, you know, grateful for my family, grateful for my cat, grateful for my bed. It actually, you know, the recommendation was to do it for at least a week. And it really was great to think about even the, like the smallest little things inside my body that are working the way they need to, or the little things that I may not even notice from day to day. You know, like the high I get from the mailman or whatever it may be. I do really like that practice it, it does take a little bit of thought, so it's a little bit different, but I get a lot of benefit to really move past sometimes not the rote, but I do have a, a practice of gratitude every morning. But this specific practice was great and then it made it a little bit, you know, you have to think of not just three or four, you have to think of new ones every single day. So it really helped me dig a little bit deeper.
Rena: I love that practice and I definitely fell off my own doing that, which is why I couldn't view these stressors as blessings. Because I always find if I do have a conscious gratitude practice, I never would've gotten in that mindset because I would've been consciously thinking about everything that I'm grateful for. And I feel that leads my mind to be so much more of, like, an attitude of abundance. When I fall off the beam with my practice and I get lazy and complain about it, right, my mind shifts to the negative. It shifts to getting stressed and angsty and irritable and then it's like, okay, you gotta get back on the beam because it doesn't feel good to feel that way.
Dara: Yeah. I think for myself personally, I find it's very easy to do those practices when I'm really in my heart and I'm feeling good. I think it's so much more challenging. However, I think it's that much more impactful to do it on the days when you wake up and you're not feeling good.
Rena: I know. You know, I asked somebody yesterday in this group I was in, I said, because I, I really, I like this analogy of like falling off a beam, right? Like life is a balance theme. And someone I was speaking to, I said, you do this spiritual practice every day. I know you to be someone that really actively practices this just how for me it's like running is a non-negotiable years. And never, I never compromise that. But my spiritual practice I have to really be conscious about. And I said, but even you, someone that has been doing this for years, she shared that she's recently been feeling kind of all the ways I was feeling - irritable and angsty and whatever. And I said, where's ever like a balance of this? Right? We can do this work, but still sometimes we just don't feel it. And then someone shared this story that was about someone walking on a beam and you fall off and you can use that analogy for exercise, spiritual practice, healthy eating, whatever. Then it's like, it's all about how you get back on the beam, right? Because life is never gonna be perfectly balanced, but it's, can you pick yourself up? Can you keep going? You get back on and then that's how we learn too. We don't learn when we're balancing and everything's great because then we're coasting. We learn when we fall off and pick ourselves up and get back on.
Dara: I think you made a really great point. It is, I think in those contractions, which Gadale would say like in the contractions relative to the expansions, that's where you get so many of the best nuggets. And when you can shift that point of view of when you're in that challenging moment in the contraction, what happens after the contraction is expansion. So if you can just hold on and recognize and thank the universe, like thank you universe, I know what's coming next, that can really help you appreciate that contraction that much more and recognize it's all part of the game. It's all part of the process. I think we need to have the opposites to really appreciate. You need that balance. It is that balance.
Rena: Yes, we do. I love that contraction and expansion and that's life. And I was thinking about it in terms, I mean, you can apply it to anything, right? You can't always be in peak performance, your body that needs a rest. We can't always be in peak mental performance. You know, our minds need to break. We're humans, not robots. But you know, I think it's how do you pick yourself up and in those times where you are down, who do you lean on? What practice do you have? What can you learn? And that's how we build up our resilience.
Dara: And yeah. And I think it's a great, maybe reminder for myself, for yourself, and I think for our listeners is when you really are struggling, finding support, finding a practice, and even, you know what I've come to realize too, I've been meditating for many years and some days are better than others. But recognizing you still need to practice. You still need to keep up with it. And it may mean, okay, shifting my meditation instead of, you know, if I'm doing my mantra meditation, maybe it means I listen to a tape that I haven't listened to in a while. Maybe it means I try a different type of breathing technique. And sometimes just having that can spark something new. But I think a lot of times when we're not getting what we want, we often just fully, I mean it's the same thing with nutrition. If we don't see the results that we wanna see after X amount of days, we often wanna drop out and run away. As opposed to recognizing that maybe it just takes a little bit of a shift to trying something new, getting the support to really help you see things and help you kind of level up, so to speak. Especially when we're, yeah. When we're, you know, sometimes people doing well, doing well and then we hit that little bump where we're not really seeing much of a change. And I think the biggest way to level up is to see if you can do something a little bit differently. Like give yourself a little boost. Whether again with a good book, seeking support from a friend or from someone in, you know, in our fields, but really recognizing that that's just a stepping stone to the next level.
Rena: Yeah, exactly. You know, but I think that mindset takes work to get there. It takes work to really get there and to, you know, strength and foundation.
Dara: But you know what, I think that's what I love about life. I like, I do look at the about life. Like it's, it's a game. Like how do I wanna show up today if I don't like the way I've been showing up? Don't like my attitude change. Like you have the power in you to like, you know, if you look at it more light in that way of like, okay, how do I wanna show up? Who do I wanna be today? And I think the hard part is, a lot of times people may see you in a specific way and they've seen you in this way for so long. But like, who's to say that you can try something else? Yes. And that may ruffle people's feathers, but it could be fun to just do something different. Sometimes when I'm really struggling with something, I really try to do the exact opposite of what I've been doing.
Rena: Do the opposite action. That's something I've been taught. Do The opposite then is a very…
Dara: It’s
Uncomfortable sometimes
Rena: It is but, l sometimes I think my tendency and I look at my own flaws and defects and how I would respond. Right? And then it's like, oh yeah, the opposite action. And for me the opposite action is usually instead of shutting down or getting mad, just bombard someone with love and kindness or set something aside, put a pause in it, you know, don't react. But I love that. Yeah. Just, just do the opposite action.
Dara: Yeah. But I love the word flaw. I don't love the word defect. It's not a defect, it's a flaw. It's not a flaw. Not even a flaw or even an imperfection. Not even all these words, but like a lot of times when I'm really not nice to myself, I catch myself in certain negative self-talk. I forget who it was, but someone I remember saying, you look at trees, every tree is different. Some trees are like fully bent. Some of them are really wide or really skinny. Some of them have so many plush leaves in the summertime. And some of them don't really, you know, have the nicest leaves. But you don't look at it and say, Ooh, that's the ugliest thing. You appreciate them. You realize that they're there and they all serve a purpose. So that for me sometimes a great, like, I'm trying myself personally to look at some of those flaws per se and seeing them as in some ways my superpower 'cause It's helping me grow. If it was perfect, then that's kind of boring too.
Rena: That's a beautiful perspective. That's something I'm working on. And other people are sort of helping me understand that, right? Instead of beating myself up over these things. Right. How can we turn them into strengths, right? And we all have things that we wanna work. But I think it just comes back to are you doing the work or are you not?
Dara: Yeah, I started kabbala this year, which I don't think I spoke about last year, but I literally just started and it's changed my life. And this is making me think of a lot of what we are speaking about, of like, we're here for a purpose to help work on things, not to correct ourselves, to make corrections based on areas to grow. And I think it's a nice shift in perspective as opposed to looking at those things as something negative. It's like kind of a good challenge and it's making me desire, wanting to overcome that.
Rena: I love that. You inspired me. I'm gonna, I'm striving to start kabbala in January,
Dara: I'll tell you. So they have classes, but I started with online courses 'cause you know, if you're a busy, you know, busy at work or just have a, a busy day to day, it's great that you have the flexibility of doing it on your own time. But I also, I'll tell you, I want to chat about books 'cause I, I always get inspired by what you're reading, but I just finished yesterday actually. And this is like the basic book, the Power of Kabbalah.
Rena: Love that.
Dara: And what I like about it, especially for the, the person who doesn't, who has a short attention span, they're like one to two pages worth of little snippets. So for me at nighttime is my favorite time to read. But my problem is, is after five minutes I'm just exhausted and wanna go to bed. But it's great that I could just read a couple of pages and put it down and then start again the next day. So they're really great short little snippets and lots of underlining in this.
Rena: Oh, I love that. Okay, I'm gonna add that to my list.
Dara: Really easy read. Anything that you are interested in reading or that you've read that you enjoyed and you wanna share with us?
Rena: Well, I just ordered as per Gadle Fester’s recommendation and I know you ordered it too.
Dara: What is the name of it?
Rena: Astrology for the Soul, which sounds really, really good. And I'm excited for that.
Dara: Do you know much, do you know much about astrology?
Rena: Basic amounts. What about you?
Dara: Basic amounts too. My Kabbalah two class is now digging into it a little bit deeper. But I know, you know, oftentimes like, okay, you know what sign you are and you kind of know are you water, are you air? And then you kind of just know yours. But I think it's interesting to know how it all works together and maybe the people in your life, what they are. And to see how that can work together.
Rena: Yeah, I think it's fascinating. Yeah. That's synergy. Yeah,
Dara: I'm excited. And then this is the one that is still on my bedside that I have kind of just started. But it's interesting, a friend gifted it to me and I love how life is, you know, I've had it next to my bedside for a while and then someone recently brought it up and I was like, oh my gosh, I think I have it in my bedside table. But I haven't picked it up like, okay, universe telling me I need to start reading it. And it, it definitely aligns with Gadale, Kabbalah, all of that. I'm sure many of you have heard of her. Gabrielle Bernstein?
Rena: Oh yeah. Oh yes. That book's been around.
Dara: I know. And I feel like you this is totally up your alley too. It's interesting. I think, you know, I just love hearing things in different ways and you can, you know, connect with certain people or with certain words. I believe it's all about time. You, you keep on getting exposed to things until you're really open to understanding it.
Rena: Absolutely. I mean, I, and I think, you know, I have a spiritual practice made up of a lot of different aspects and it's kind of at this point, right, it's whether you're, you know, into Kabbala or a 12 step program or Buddhism or whatever, it's kind of all the same stuff. It's just read in a different way. So I think it's always about like, oh, I'm hearing this person right now, like this, this way it's being explained as speaking to me and I kind of bounce around from one practice to another. But it is all the same stuff.
Dara: It is. There's so much out there. I feel like in, in some ways there's not enough time in the day. But I love that there's different modalities to listen to a podcast to read. I even love audio books. I do really well listening, but I also love underlining books too. And then going back, I know we've spoken in the past of Letting Go, which is one of our, both of our favorite books that we read by David Hawkins, which Gadale references a lot. That's how I first heard about it. But I still, sometimes when I'm going through something, I'll like open up to a random page and it's just, you know, and read the page over, I'm like, oh, this is exactly what I needed to see or hear.
Rena: I love that book. Funny story about that book. I found that in my 8-year-old daughter's room the other day, next to her bed. I said, oh, what are you doing with my book? And she said, mommy, I need this at night for when I can't sleep 'cause it's so boring.
Dara: Oh my gosh. That is hilarious. You know what, even if it's boring, she will still subconsciously get some of that.
Rena: I know, I know. I love that. I love that. I said,
Dara: I think that's so cute. I thought you were gonna say like, hello. It helps me sleep 'cause It's, it's so interesting. the opposite.
Rena: Maybe in a few years. But listen, I mean, I feel yeah, eight years old reading that. I mean, right. Going somewhere. Right. She's putting it somewhere in her mind. So,
Dara: Exactly. And also she'll remember, you know, and I'm sure you'll remember and you'll remind her down the road - remember when you used to let that, you know, read that when you were bored to help you go to sleep. So have you noticed, let's divet back to work, have you noticed any trends with your patients this year? Or trends in the mental health space?
Rena: I mean, I think people tend to remain quite anxious. You know, this year I'd say a lot of trend, you know, like in addition to the fertility anxiety and angst and all of that was the addition of the political climate on top of all of that. So it was like fertility angst plus anxiety about politics in our country. So I saw that really increase this year and managing that and people's fears, you knows around people, again, the politics and what's to be in our country in terms of healthcare, women's rights. I definitely saw an uptick in that. What about you?
Dara: Yeah, I, I was thinking, I would assume that it would be that much busier or at least people would have additional worries or concerns. Even like, I think with just the potential unrest of the world of, like, the unknowns of what may be down the road. So it's interesting. I think I, I dunno if I, I said this last year, but I may have touched upon it, but I'm definitely seeing it even more. So two things - I've been seeing so many people who have high cholesterol.
Rena: Oh, interesting.
Dara: Yeah. More than I ever have. And I started seeing the trend right after Covid, but really this year more than I've ever seen patients who, you know, and, and it's patients who wanna lose weight or are overweight or obese. But some people whose BMI are still in the normal range with elevated cholesterol levels. So just a lot more across the board, which I would love to dig in deeper to really see what that could be from. I do think stress may be a contributing factor. Diet for sure can play a role, but especially a lot of people are coming to me and saying like, I'm not really changing when I'm eating, but my cholesterol levels have gone up. So I wonder if there's some other factor. It could be maybe the quality of the food in general that we're sourcing or it could be the added stress I'm sure politically.
Rena: Sure. Well 'cause I know a lot of times cholesterol is not necessarily diet related. I think there's that stigma that, oh, you know, eggs, cheese equal high cholesterol. But
Dara: Yes.
Rena: You can have a super healthy diet and still have high cholesterol.
Dara: Yeah. And there's, you know, there's definitely a genetic component and also just seeing how so many people are so afraid of, of eggs, and eating eggs. Not the eggs that they have in their body, but the, you know, eating eggs. And I think we're really gonna hopefully see a shift down the road of not demonizing eating eggs and how there's so much nutritional benefit. And I think we're gonna see now more of a trend towards trying to minimize seed oils. Seed oils are getting a bad wrap, you know? The corn oil, the soybean oil, canola oil, things of that nature. I think we're really gonna be more, we're gonna expose to the potential downsides of those types of oils. And then still on that trend, I believe I mentioned it last year, but I really have seen an uptick in people on Ozempic or other GLP1 or GLP1, like medications for weight loss. And I'm super interested to see, you know, I think the longer people are on them, we're really gonna get a lot more insight in potential benefits and the potential downsides too.
Rena: Yeah. That'll be interesting too to track and also how that pertains to fertility.
Dara: Yeah. And I think, you know, I, I would love to do research in this field 'cause I, I do think I've seen so many in this past year and it would be really interesting and I really do love working with anyone who's taking the medications because what you eat plays that much more of a role in terms of your health if you're not eating as much when you do eat, you know, really to try to maximize making sure you're getting all your vitamins and minerals. Supplement intake is often also more important. I'm really excited for that, to work with that population group and really help support them as best as possible.
Rena: Yeah. Well and I think as we talk about, it's one of the things that's so great about our field is that it's always changing and research is coming out and things are changing and so it's fascinating.
Dara: Yeah. Was there anything specific in terms of any of the podcast recordings that we did this year that stood out to you that you really enjoyed?
Rena: Well, I, I mean I love all of them, but I think like you, I always love the as SRM ones and the abstracts because I find them fascinating, you know, to stay up to date with the research. I think it's really incredible. I love those, I love learning. So I, I really always love those. What about you?
Dara: I was gonna say the same thing. There's a lot to learn, especially sometimes we have like tunnel vision of just focusing in on what our specialty is. And I think ASRM the conference is a great opportunity and especially I'm, so it's pretty unbelievable what we've accomplished at RMA in terms of every year there's so many presentations, so many abstracts that are a part of this conference. And just hearing what the team is working towards and, and what their interests are outside of, you know, the lifestyle component that sometimes we just focus on only
Rena: Absolutely. So what about, okay, new year coming up. Anything striving for?
Dara: Oh, well, looking at my desires, the things that I desire. That word is really on the tip of my tongue of looking how I can improve myself, but also level up in terms of my growth in all aspects. The things that I desire in all aspects. So not material, but you know, in terms of my growth, what do I desire? I kind of wanna just, and I think a great way to do that is to journal in the morning that may help me uncover and discover some things that are deeply embedded in myself that may come out. You've inspired me. I think I've kind, I, I've kind that journal here and there, but it's not consistent and I think this is a great way to help find my desires. What about you?
Rena: Desire. Striving for the coming year? I think I would like to continue to just work on believing in myself and not letting fear get in the way. And I think letting go of this idea that I need someone to help me, whether it's personally, professionally. That I'm enough, I've been doing it, I'm enough. And to be at peace with that and let go of maybe this innate feeling that someone's gonna come help me or save me. No. And I don't need that. So to be able to be in the, the space of being enough
Dara: Oof, that's deep. And that's great and I think, I'm sure people can relate to that. I myself, I think that's a, a really nice thing because when you break it all down, you are a powerful being. We all have the power to do what we strive towards and I think it's nice to know that we can have a great support system, but at the same time, recognizing that we have it within ourselves.
Rena: Yes. And then who we attract in right. Our other people that can help us level up, as you say, love that level up. It's sort of the law of attraction, right? And energy.
Dara: But it starts with yourself.
Rena: Yeah. Yeah. Starts with yourself gor sure. And that's the work, right?
Dara: When you're seeking outside, I think that's when you can get lost. But when you first, it's kind of like when you charge what is like the power source when you kind of like when recharge your batteries, you're the power source, then you can attract the right people who are on, I guess a similar level.
Rena: Yes, exactly. The journey.
Dara: But it does start with yourself.
Rena: Yeah, totally. I would say a good practice I would leave with people, something I've sort of adapted the past years as it was path on to me as a recommendation is a word of the year. So I like to do it at the end of the year and say, okay, lemme look back on this year. How would I define this year? And it's hard because Right. I went to, oh, do I only have to pick one word? But as we were talking Oh, strive! Like that, I would say, I wouldn't say strive was my word of 2024, but I'm gonna say strive is my word of 2025. I have to do, so I need some time. We'll have to circle back on the next podcast. I have to think I need some more time. Yeah. I need some, think about how I would define 2024, but, and I always do sort of year end wrap up with patients at the end of the year and start to plant the seed of, okay. Right. Like how would you define this year and what word do you wanna use for next year?
Dara: Does it have to be a word? Can it be like a phrase or a sentence?
Rena: That’s the most commonly asked question. And then I always say, well look, the practices can so it's up to you.
Dara: I'm like, I have a sentence or a phrase. But yes, I think that's a great way of looking at it, whether it's a word or a phrase to help you level up
Rena: Or even like a being. I, I remember this one I related with a lot. Do you remember that book Call Of the Wild by Jack London?
Dara: Mm-Hmm.
Rena: Okay. So I think that was something we read in like middle school or high school. I recently rewrite and reading it at this age, it was, it was so poignant. It really spoke to me. And the main character is this dog Buck and Buck is this just fierce being, this amazing specimen of animal and someone I know that was their word of the year. And then they went as far as to get a Buck tattoo, which I loved. But you know, you can really interpret this in any, like is it, is it a character? This is very open to interpretation.
Dara: I love that. So it's, I I think a great thing for both of ourselves and our listeners to kind of take outta this is reflection. I think it is such a great thing to reflect. And I think reflecting on, I think accomplishments, what did you accomplish this year and what are the things that you are open to in the next year to help you level up to help you? You know, I think it is great to set those goals and it's okay throughout the year to, to have a check in with yourself. How's this going? Do I need to reevaluate? Do I need to change? Am I being kind to myself in these goals or is this stressing me out and what's stressing me out about it? Am I putting so much pressure or do I need to be kinder to myself? So I think it is great to have those goal settings, but be again, to be nice to yourself. Yeah. If you aren't able to achieve it right off the bat.
Rena: I think that's a great point. And I think that's something so important to remember, right? Like, okay, and I'm so sorry. Running is just what I know. So I just tie everything to that. I don't know another way of being,
Dara: I appreciate it, I appreciate it!
Rena: But, you know, like if you're planning a race, right? Okay, I'm gonna, I'm striving to do a marathon, then you start the training and then like life gets very life-y, right? Maybe you get sick, maybe your kid has something, maybe you have work obligations and it's like, okay, I just can't commit to this or I'm not gonna be able to train in a way to get the time I want. Right? Reevaluate. Like, this is, lemme take a step back. You know, either I'm gonna adjust my time goal for the race, or I'm gonna do a half marathon instead. I'm gonna put a pin in this. Right. Again, that's about striving. Life gets life-y. And sometimes I think, I started out doing something, it's not gonna go the way that I planned, but instead of letting that derail me, you know, and then why me? Oh, I'm a failure, all that. Okay, I need to just pivot. You gotta swim with the current,
Dara: Let it go. Let it go and reroute.
Rena: Yes. Let go and let God, if that is what you believe in.
Dara: Yeah. The universe, let the universe have faith in the universe will take you exactly where you need to go.
Rena: Exactly.
Dara: Hopefully we have enough woowoo for everyone.
Rena: I know. This is a very, we really let our our spiritual sides show that I I feel
Dara: Once a year
Rena: That’s what I love about you. I think that's, I love finding other people on such a deep spiritual journey and I so appreciate you.
Dara: You too. You inspire me. I think it's so nice to have someone else, a colleague who I can learn so much from and who's on her own path and it's nice, it's so nice to have someone that I can bounce off ideas with and I know you're always there to support me and really I'm inspired by what you have become and who you are becoming
Rena: And verbatim back at you. It's been a joy. I think we've known each other for what, maybe six-ish years and yeah, I feel like you've grown so much as a mom and professional and friend and partner, all the hats that you wear. And it's really, it's amazing to watch other people really grow and do the work.
Dara: I agree. I I feel the same with you. It's, it's so nice. So it's interesting we end our podcast with words of gratitude. I feel like we've shared a lot of gratitude on top of what we've spoken about. Is there anything in particular that you're grateful for?
Rena: Well, I'll take from my exercise yesterday and I say I'm, I'm really grateful to feel my life is really full right now with personal things and professional things. And I think at times it can feel overwhelming, but that's what I wanted. The problem is when the phone's not ringing, when you're not having people that wanna meet with you, when you don't have people wanting to get together with you. And this is such a busy time of year, the holidays, but I can reflect back and, and say a few years ago, this is such a hard time of year for me, and I really had a tough time this time of year and now I've, I've built a life and it feels full. And so I'm really grateful for that. I'm, I'm so grateful for that holiday overwhelm and I wouldn't trade that back. So what about you?
Dara: Well, your shifting perspective, I think that's beautiful. You're taking something that in the past has brought you stress and you're just seeing it in a different way. Yeah, I somewhat similar but not similar is back to the contractions. I am grateful for my contractions because that is the path to growth for always expanding and things are always going the way we want to go. We get complacent and we get, I don't say stuck, but we kind of do, we kind of have a standstill. So I do appreciate those contractions or those challenging moments that may bring on a little bit of fear, but can actually help push you forward once you can have that reframe and recognize like what's on the other side, what's on the other side of the mountain, something great. So it's a great way for, for me to have more hope when I am going through something tough and actually thinking the universe as opposed to cursing the universe when something doesn't go the way I wanted it to go. Or if I am faced with something that isn't super duper easy in some ways I'm saying, you know, to the universe, bring it on. I'm excited because I know that's gonna help me level up.
Rena: Love that. And level up, I, I, let's say level up as the theme of this podcast as we wrap up and the theme of the podcast for 2025, we wanna level up. So as always, we so appreciate our listeners. We're open to suggestions and feedback. We're just here to provide you with relevant, factual information. And yeah, so reach out to us and here for you. And we're so grateful for your continued support. It's been really a joy to grow this podcast.
Dara: Yeah. We wouldn't be anywhere without you and we do already have some great lineups ahead, which I'm very excited about. But it's, Rena made a great point, like we're here to help our listeners out and we wanna know what you wanna learn more about what's interesting to you, if there's specific topics, guests that you may wanna have on. But I'm excited to see where Fertility Forward brings us in the new year.
Dara: Thank you so much for listening today. And always remember: practice gratitude, give a little love to someone else and yourself, and remember - you are not alone. Find us on Instagram @fertility_forward and if you're looking for more support, visit us at www.rmany.com and tune in next week for more Fertility Forward.